The farrier, Brad, came out to trim the horses' hooves today. Super sweet guy. Horses were nodding off with their chins aquiver (sure sign of contentment) while he worked on them. He's goood. Every 7-8 weeks.
* * *
Chuck drove up to tell me that he's invited an artist friend and his wife to dinner - here - on Thursday. And offered some suggestions for what to prepare. Should be fun, and reason to sweep chicken poop off porch and vacuum the house.
Today, otherwise:
Threw scratch for the chickens, replenished their protein feeder, cleaned water, fed cats, fed geese
Two days of yoga challenge in a row because anxious about goings-on at home that have thankfully been shelved
Mowed the lawn in a flat 75 minutes, including adding gas without spilling
Hung out with Randy, Willow, and horses while farrier worked on hooves (highlight)
Dropped trash in dumpster on way into town for calamine lotion (maybe 2 dozen itchy bites)
FINALLY had someone return my one-index-finger-lifted-from-steering-wheel gesture while passing on ranch road at 60 mph, learned from Chuck (bucket list) (timing is everything)
Got to town in 20 minutes because I'm finally confident enough to reach the speed limit
Stopped to feed goats and say hi to dogs. Dogs miss Katherine. Arms scratched from offering pets over fence. Will go down in long sleeves and jeans to say hi tomorrow.
Good FT with my lovely parents in their new home, equally happy commute-time phone call with Erin
Half-moon. Will be home hopefully in time for eclipse.
Rules for having people over for dinner here on the ranch:
- There is always dessert
- Guests will arrive with their own drink, typically in a coozie
- Order fresh breeze to enable comfortable porch dining
That's about all I can think of. But...
- It's 101, no breeze yet.
- Shopped at the HEB and almost forgot the salmon.
- Queued up brownies recipe (to have warm with vanilla ice cream); having trouble with the idea of turning the oven on.
- Chicken poop on the porch, along with the spilled dirt from the overturned geranium and gravel from the overturned cactus (because chickens) but it's too dang hot to sweep.
There are potato wedges in the Crock Pot with smashed garlic, oregano, and Parmesan. If all else fails, cheesy potatoes for dinner. I think it'll be fun though.
* * *
When 91 degrees at 10pm feels refreshingly cool...
Let's see, what else...
Dinner went fine, I made way too much food, it was too hot to eat outside, the kitchen is a mess.
After dinner we went to Chuck's to look at pictures: Jeffrey climbing Denali last spring, Chuck's days working as a civil engineer in Africa, vacation photos from when his wife was still alive. Chuck has led a full and interesting life.
Clea the dog got lots of good pets. Even though she chased the armadillo.
On my way home a baby jackrabbit ran zig-zag down the road in front of the truck. Stopped and turned off lights for a minute so it could escape... it is DARK out here. Lovely lovely total dark. I think that will be one of the things I miss most.
Sitting on the porch now getting eaten by mosquitos, listening to bumps in the night (seriously, even the cat is attentive), and feeling happily connected to my home planet via text message.
Obviously I have no idea how a space traveler feels, but I do often feel very small out here.
Pretty sure that was a great blue heron that just took off from the pond but it was bigger than any I've seen before! Wow.
Started 30-day yoga challenge and remember why I miss it... already feeling better in body and calmer in mind.
Realized there are fewer than 30 days until I'm home.
Went for a walk and explored the east pasture 'til I overheated, which wasn't long, but long enough to listen to part 2 of the Freakonomics podcast "Why Hate the Koch Brothers?" which made my brain hurt in a good way. Highly recommend it. Continued my lesson about the importance of critically questioning media input.
Fed the horses and the goats. Got jumped by large muddy dogs. Dispensed affection and pets to all the above.
Bumped into Chuck and Clea (she got a bath last night) and made plans to grill down here tomorrow night. Saturday night date! Chuck said he's going to his sister's house tonight but someone... her brother-in-law maybe?... had a heart attack recently so they might need to go to the hospital. I said "Hope he recovers soon" and Chuck responded "Well, he's 90, they put in a stent and he got through the surgery okay, he'll be fine."
Fed the chickens chilled cucumber and strawberries in their yard. Began to suspect that they're intentionally coming to the porch to poop.
Yesterday at the HEB I overheard the man in line behind me respond to the cashier's "How are you?" with "Having the time of my life, as usual, how 'bout you?"
Having the time of my life, as usual. Is there any other time?
First thing this morning went out as usual in Katherine's big rubber boots to feed the outside cats, let the chickens out of their coop, and throw scratch for them and for the geese by the pond. Walking back found a tiny bat body on the porch, small and perfect as a swallow.
Took another walk through the pasture, this time accompanied by Clea (Chuck's shepherd). At some point she fell back and started barking furiously so I walked back up the path and saw that she'd cornered a very large and very pissed-off skunk. Called to her and she retreated right away (which makes me think I helped her save face with the skunk, who was clearly winning, because she's not like to come when called by anyone other than Chuck) and rubbed on me. Next, shower and laundry. Pew.
Conversation with Alysse tonight made me realize that the armadillo doesn't lose novelty by showing up every day, it becomes novel that an armadillo shows up every day.
So. An armadillo has been showing up on the lawn every afternoon. There one is right now, hopping around and snuffling the grass.
Down the road to where the goats congregate (thunder of little hooves galloping to find out if I have any food, dogs jumping up for kisses)
Across the pasture... had gone about 100 yards when the dogs caught up and ran circles, made me smile
To the pond, where the dogs took a dip and then shook all over me (good dogs! It was like 92)
- Lunch, and Behzat/nap
- Dogs sleeping under truck when I brought the bucket of goat supplement out
Smiley hitched a ride
Sky ran in front
Max followed behind
- Dogs back in with goats, Curly Joe in the dog food enclosure eating dog food
- Good phone catch-up and movie planning with Erin
3 weeks until K gets back and I start the journey home. This has been an amazing adventure and also I am really ready to go home and see what the next few months have in store.
Took my sketchbook and a bag of carrots up to where the horses were grazing in the shade but this time as soon as they saw me they ran down to the feed shed instead of sticking their heads through the window for treats and investigating the truck bed. JJ cantering and Clover dancing patterns in front of and around him all the way down the hill, kicking and tossing her head.
Stopped on the way back to feed carrots to Molly the burro, who Chuck thinks he's had for 40 years.
Also today, found the old rut-road in the pasture and had a lovely shady walk through the oak trees. And painted.
Pensive postscript alert:
Some growing pains the past couple of days but feel like I'm learning something important about translating new language and identifying legacy issues vs. legitimate ones. Language is important but communication matters, if that makes any sense.
Michael was here early this morning to drop off goat feed and pick up eggs; we had a fun and illuminating conversation about TX/CA stereotypes.
Went to the store. People smile at me more often when I'm wearing my new hat. Even got a compliment from a cute teenage girl.
Randy was here when I got home and with heroic effort got the air conditioner up and running again. Thank you!!!
Just as we finished with the AC Chuck arrived so we sat around the table for a while talking about goats. And goat nuts. I asked Chuck why Michael got a billy and he laughed and said "'Cause he's a novice." (For the curious: keeping the bloodline diverse.) I do so enjoy Chuck's sense of humor.
When Randy left Chuck and I searched the property for scorpion poison and finally found it in the last place we looked (which was the first place I looked, but apparently I didn't know what I was looking for).
Five minutes after Chuck left, a tremendous storm rolled in. I am not exaggerating, I don't think I've ever in my life heard thunder this loud. Lightning bolts in a darkened sky, trees blowing in the wind, torrential rain. Glad.
And it's only 3:30!
July 23, later
Storm update:
Still going. Thunder and lightning overlapping, thunder loud as dickens. Frogs hopping onto porch. Geese impervious. Josephine under the bed.
Pretty sure I've never experienced this even in MT.
AC unit started dripping today. Texted K for instructions. Standing on a chair, pulled out filters and vacuumed them and put them back in. Still dripping.
Called Carrie. "You have a package down here anyway, why don't you come hang out until Paul gets home and then he'll have a look."
Couple of extra minutes getting to the Wickander's because goats blocked the road and surrounded the truck. (Sorry to go here, but goats' testicles are shockingly big.)
Glass of wine and showing of quilts - she really does beautiful artistic work, and her enthusiasm is inspiring. Opened package from StitchFix and admired new outfits (yay, box of new things!).
Paul says the AC needs to be off overnight so built-up ice can melt. Fortunately it shouldn't take more than overnight because it's freaking hot, and getting steadily hotter in the house. Also fortunate, there's a window unit in the bedroom. We won't cook.
As I'm leaving Paul quips "Drive safe, it's a long way." I like those two a lot.
* * *
On the phone with my mom and whispering because I'm sneaking up on an animal that turns out to be a skunk. Me: Excited that I've gotten like 10' away. Mom: "ANI. TURN AROUND. WALK AWAY FROM THE SKUNK."
When it's your Mom, you hear the all caps.
There is a lot of stuff happening with people who represent home to me and I want to be there. Best I can do is send love from Texas. Since everything is bigger in Texas, hoping my love is amplified loud enough for you to feel it in your foot-bones.
* * *
Just reached that yes everything is going to be okay place. There's an armadillo on the lawn, and a cat sleeping curled up next to me; earlier on FT with Matt there was a giant beetle on my sleeve that made me shriek and giggle, I'm up way too late but it doesn't matter. Every moment counts. I've lived a rich life and expect that to continue.
Binge-watched the stars coming out, and bats swooping in the twilight. Listened to very vocal cows going home for the night, and crickets and frogs singing.
The chickens took dust baths and ate zucchini and sipped cold water from an upturned bin lid. And pooped on the porch. Given the choice between hosing poop off the porch or removing weird bugs from the "studio" every day I decided I choose hosing.
This morning Randy came over with his dog Willow to have coffee and look at paintings. We had a fun visit. Willow is a love and very good company even if she did spill coffee on the rug (stain came out easily).
Thankfully Randy took a dozen eggs. The girls have been productive and the snake hasn't been eating its share.
Broke 100 today. Nearly swooned on my foolish midday walk. Now though? Delicious 85.
A little lonesome on a Friday night but appreciating solitude, cats' company, and insane grasshopper that keeps dive-bombing my hair.
(Cats' company + insane grasshopper = no more insane grasshopper)
The longhorns were down by the road today. So pretty!
* * *
Today, text edition:
- Really nice time hanging out at the Mod Haus pool with Carrie (if you want to visit Fredericksburg in style, https://www.vrbo.com/871214)
- Sunburned thighs, owwwie (dummy)
- Longhorn photo op on the drive home
- Hot chickens. Literally, the chickens are experiencing heat discomfort, panting and holding their wings away from their little bodies. Going to make a frozen leftover veggie confection for them and devise a wading pool.
- Have found 2 scorpions in the house in the past 72 hours, will contact Chuck about that... my views on pesticide spraying - and squashing/vacuuming things - have changed dramatically in my time here. Mea culpa.
- Rumination of the day: Living with other humans is fraught with danger, unless the humans you choose to live with are open minded, greater-good-intentioned people with big hearts. Feeling lucky in that regard.
Totally confused by text from Michael while discussing goat supplements: "i delivered a new billy last friday. He is very friendly." Isn't that horse already out of the barn?
Went to a yoga class with Carrie today, first time I've done yoga in a very long time. It was fun. Taking the ibuprofen to bed with me tonight. You know, just in case.
Also really enjoyed seeing their VRBO house while we were in town, which they've redone and decorated beautifully. So impressive, and Carrie's quilts in every room. Tomorrow we're going to go hang out at the pool.
Mostly enjoyed talking with Carrie on the drive and getting to know her a little better.
Unaccustomed exercise and mid-nineties temp led to turning on the TV for the second time in what, six weeks now? and discovering... HBO! Now that GoT is so far along I'm finally excited to watch it. And I'll be up to speed when I get home. Might cram in Pretty Little Liars too, much as I hate to watch TV.
A good day. One month 'til Katherine gets home and I start the long drive back. Six good paintings, five in triage, 3 blank canvases. Still have to check out a dance hall and a winery or two.
A good way to get heatstroke is to procrastinate long enough in the morning that you wind up hiking up a giant rock in the middle of the day.
Enchanted Rock State Park today. The drive was gorgeous, through miles and miles of tree-filled ranch land, and the first view of the rock on approach my jaw literally dropped. It was like a UFO appearing. Walked around until my water was gone and then retreated to AC. Balanced beauty with a trip to Walmart.
Fed goats. Appreciate Ottmer cousin's husband's suggestion that I keep the tubs close to the fence so I can pour feed over, because goats lack boundaries when there's food involved.
Avoided scratches all over by giving the dogs love through the fence, too. They are mostly very large, and prone to full-body hugs. Except for Smiley, who is small enough to wriggle under the fence and get his affection close up. Sweet pea.
Stopped to say hi to Chuck (first in-person exchange I've had in maybe 3 days) and talk about putting up electric wire around the perimeter of the porch so the chickens won't poop all over it. The chickens are good company, but man, the poop.
Later Chuck came up to get a tool and a dozen eggs, and looked at some paintings. Good feedback. He saw peonies, and horses, and horses, and horses. "That one's my favorite" he said of my favorite. "Course it looks like its neck is broke, but I think it's a good one." I appreciate Chuck's sense of humor.
I also truly appreciate his perspective. There is nothing like being a 5th-generation "libtard" Californian spending a summer on a ranch in Texas for opening a mind.
Typical high of mid-90s here at the house today, and am thinking that I'm going to freeze to death when I come home.
Other highlights of the day: wasp sting between my toes (and the wasps STICK, it's not easy to brush them off), nice long walk after my toe stopped stinging (wasn't really so bad), shirked some responsibilities because it's Sunday.
Also pics of last night's toad. Which sounds suggestive but is actually literal.
* * *
Nothing new, really
A toad on the porch
A deer grazing on the lawn
Listening to rain approaching across the pasture
A tiny dead bird on the porch sofa this morning
(Why aren't there more bats? And why only one deer?)
The chickens have pegged me as not-scary and bringer-of-delicacies so they've taken to the porch, where they give me chicken-eye and, unfortunately, poop. I've told them to poop in the grass and not on the porch, but my powers only go so far. On the plus side they are keeping the bugs down, but watching them kill and eat a walking stick was discomfiting. And one of them got into the geranium and tipped the pot, trapping herself against the wall, and had to be rescued.
All nine remaining chickens are tucked in for the night but It is once again hard to make myself go to bed.
** Update: The dogs are barking, I think I just heard coyotes, the deer is lying down on the lawn, and I've got at least a half-dozen more mosquito bites.
A vexation of fauna. Flies and chickens being annoying, cat taking a swipe at me and drawing blood, itty-bitty scorpion popping out of my sponge. Booo! Otherwise a good painting day, good phone call with my Ma, and realization that the best thing in life is love.
Some randoms from the past few days... jawbone, some rocks I've collected, the hosts' awesome collection of Comanche arrow- and spearheads, Josephine chilling in the sink, chickens on the lawn
When I get back maybe I'll document a few days Oakland and see how it compares 😀
* * *
After and before shots of my weeding efforts today. Swear those things shot up overnight (even though some came up to my chin). The weedwhacker wasn't up for it, so listened to two podcasts and hand-pulled 6 armloads of 5' weeds. More tomorrow.
Also mowed the lawn, ran out of gas in the mower, figured out how to refuel it (safety can flummoxed), and made Katherine snicker.
Dirty, sweaty, tired, and smelling of gasoline but feeling accomplished!
Trigger warning slash navel-gazing alert: quote from Blood Meridien, plus essay-length rumination on empathy.
Cormac McCarthy's writing is insanely good; in this book, it's a dance with the violence he describes. This is the last line of the chapter describing the first Comanche attack:
"Dust stanched the wet and naked heads of the scalped who with the fringe of hair below their wounds and tonsured to the bone now lay like maimed and naked monks in the bloodslaked dust and everywhere the dying groaned and gibbered and horses lay screaming."
On empathy... Two years ago I wouldn't have been able to read this book, and definitely wouldn't have relished it. Something has happened to my empathy. It's... broken, somehow. Or fixed? Dulled, anyway, like it's grown a callous.
Honestly I've been concerned about it. I have always been painfully empathetic. Witnessing an animal in pain or fear can affect me for years. And while I'm not stepping on scorpions or wasps yet, I stood and watched Chuck shoot a raccoon in a trap, and its death throes, and Clea worrying the carcass with her teeth, and walked away somber but not wrecked.
It occurred to me today that not being paralyzed by empathy is not such a bad thing, maybe even a positive thing. Hopefully it's a pendulum swing, and in the next iteration I'll still have the deep empathy but not the lasting horror that sometimes accompanies it. It's a double-edged sword (sorry cliche) but it's a big part of what has made me me and I would hate to lose it entirely.
Anyway. If you've made it this far, thanks for listening. And it's a good book. Not for everyone.
Read first four chapters of Blood Meridien. Took a long walk and looked for Comanche arrowheads. Pricked arm on barbwire. Found an old (I assume) piece of goat jawbone on the driveway. Ate dinner with Chuck and watched a little Tucker Carlson and a little Willie Nelson on TV with him. Tucked in 9 chickens (really just closed and latched the door to the henhouse, but I like to think of it as putting them to bed). A pretty good day here in Texas. Mid-90's on the porch but cool enough in the house to warrant some QT with Josephine the valiant road warrior.
Way too much of the day is taken up by reading the news. Gah.
94 degrees at 8pm and no breeze yet, but less humid today. Beautiful Hill Country sky with what might be rain clouds coming? Could do without the kamikaze wasps bouncing off the windows and onto the back of the porch sofa right behind my head.
Uneventful* but good day. Fed the cats, chickens, geese, goats, and horses; picked hooves; drove into town for groceries and a search for local peaches (there are none right now, due to lower-than-needed frost days last winter).
Every day that a memory pops up on Facebook I think...
- Then: Bay Bridge commute, 9-hour days at Gap HQ, endless days on the cottage porch with Josephine, visiting raccoons, Sunday visits with Mom and Dad at the Kensington house, etc.
- Now: *Uneventful means I didn't have a first-time experience today.
And then the armadillo got close enough to the porch for me to see it close up, and it had its nose buried in the grass snuffling so I could sneak up close enough to touch it, and then I DID touch it. Just brushed its scaly back with my fingertips, soft enough that it didn't react (didn't seem to notice, really). About the size of a bunny, with cute kangaroo ears.
Can see Saturn just below the moon tonight (thanks, Farmers Almanac, for the heads-up).
Balmy as a bathhouse. Near 90 at twilight with no breeze.
This frog (toad?) and I surprised each other today while I was weeding. [Bill tells me it's a leopard frog.]
* * *
Tonight, fun dinner at the Wickanders' house with their son Jonas, his friend from college, and Chuck. Lots of stories and laughing.
I told Chuck that since the kids are leaving tomorrow it was up to him to teach me how to shoot a gun, and Jonas said "Let's go now!"
My arms are going to be sore tomorrow. With some tutoring, I loaded and shot a .22, a semi-automatic Mossberg 835, and an automatic [edit, semi-automatic! Thanks Matt] AR 15. In the side yard. The .22 I aimed at the burn pile and actually hit it. With the shotguns: "Aim at the green and make sure there's not a cow in the sight" was about what I could do.
The adrenaline should wear off by tomorrow sometime. I think I may have hooted. That's a powerful feeling. So, something that wasn't on my bucket list at all prior to this trip is achieved, and also a better understanding of... I don't know yet. Have to think about it. But I get something (a little) that I didn't get before.
Why one wants to wear glasses or contacts or indeed shoes when walking on the porch at night. They're cute when they're small, but they're harder to spot.
Lovely as the crickets/frogs/whatever are, they're loud enough to make other bumps in the night hard to pinpoint. Pretty sure I'm hearing more gunfire (but far away). Possibly a car coming down the road. Did I mention wild hogs? Apparently a big problem in Texas.
I stayed up late last night and Chuck was here early this morning to get a bag of dog food out of the feed shed and take some eggs. I'm tired but can't seem to make myself go to bed at night... there's so much going on. Like right now, deer grazing on the lawn by the trampoline.
Today was a trip to town to shop, drop off recycling, and pick up 50# bags of chicken scratch etc. at the feed store (that was fun). So much traffic! I must have passed 20 cars on the ranch roads into town and that's usually more like 5, on a busy day.
Mostly just sitting on the porch watching the sky and thinking. Definitely acclimating to both the heat and the solitude. Definitely also missing someone at home.
If you have an hour and a half to read the New Yorker article "America's Future Is Texas" it's a fascinating look at politics in this state.
Horses grazing under the post oaks (volume up for maximum effect).
It was pretty hot today. Even the Texans were talking about it.
Had a great time at Carrie and Paul's Fourth of July party. I left before the fireworks but I can see a little bit of them from here.
- There were maybe 30-40 people there. Everyone was warm, friendly, and engaging. Great social fix.
- The men I met took off their hats and called me Ma'am. The women kept offering me chairs.
- Carrie's son apologized profusely again for scaring me the other night, told me that the bangs I'd been hearing all day were them shooting at clay pigeons, and offered to teach me to shoot when I suggested that might be something I should learn while I'm here. Super nice kid. He's on a full scholarship at aeronautical school.
- The BBQ was delicious and I ate way too much but don't regret it a bit. I ate outside with Chuck and a couple of the guys whose families also go back over a 100 years here and gained new perspectives on GMO crops, respectful application of local herbicide, and antibiotics in milk. Also learned that goats really live to make more goats, that chickens are brutal creatures that will eat anything, and that what an animal eats is not what we eat when we eat the animal that ate it (if you follow... it's a little hard for me to follow the shorthand).
One upper arm, and no other part of me, is completely covered in bug bites.
The goats were fed and the chickens put to bed and I was reminded of how hypnotically soothing it can be to stand for a few minutes watching (and listening to) a horse crop grass.
This, with a few state-centric differences, is where I was raised. I am a stranger visiting a place that feels like home, if that makes any sense. How lucky I am to be here and be so warmly welcomed to the party
So many bug freak outs in one hour that it was comical:
- Discover scorpion in fold of painting tarp, shriek
- Surprised by almost stepping on a giant dragonfly while trying to get rid of the scorpion, shriek
- Still messing with the tarp and scorpion, get buzzed by giant wasp-thing that CAUGHT IN MY HAIR for a nanosecond, shriek
- Get rid of scorpion, pick up the palette that a thumb-sized tarantula was crouched under, shriek
- Plus a jumping spider and a dead beetle in the paint box that I foolishly left the lid off yesterday
It surprisingly turned out to be a better-thank usual painting session, so ... dunno.
Right now one of those tarantulas is on the table about a foot away from my foot, just chillin. I'm keeping an eye on it.
* * *
June 13 8:30pm
Today, other than baby goats climbing trees, and walking sticks:
Once I've been eating Lone Star state ["natural"] chicken for the summer I expect to grow huge breasts and thighs (reminded that California has pretty awesomely high standards for chicken farmers)
$30 haircut (nothing compares 2 u Ryan) is $30 haircut
It's getting hotter.
*** Edit: the neighbors have a herd of black pigs that just wandered into the pasture. Pigs!!!
11pm
Navel-gazing alert: I love this place. There is a cacophony of nighttime fauna, a warm breeze, wineries and peach stands and historical landmarks, dance halls, solitude, more fauna... I am having a dreamy time of life, and encourage visitors. Just missing my Matt.
* * *
June 14 10:30pm
This week I've (thankfully) relaxed enough to focus on painting, and I'm pleased with results. There are three new 5' x 3' pieces that I'm excited about, two that I'm okay with, and one that I thought was a throwaway until my Dad's reaction to it via FaceTime, which reminded me that it's not my job to mediate reactions to my work... I just have to do it, and let the reactions happen as may. And I'm thinking (not arrogantly) that there is going to be good reaction to the Texas work. I'm getting my chops back and everything is less constrained, full of movement. And I've got nothing better to do than practice and channel.
Way ahead of schedule and out of paint; I'll get more when I go to Austin to pick up Matt from the airport on Monday (Monday!! Yay).
I'll also take the glass to be recycled in Austin. Another thing to take for granted about living in the Bay Area.
Meantime... I'm not ignorant of what's happening out there, good and crazy and go-make-popcorn. Horrified and hopeful.
Renald drinking from the hose
* * *
June 16 9:30pm
It's a cool 86 degrees now at 9:15 local time... 103 in town this afternoon, high of 96 here at HQ. Keep wondering why I feel so sluggish. Ha.
Chuck came to pick up the trap - apparently the raccoons will kill new baby goats, too, and he's got three brand-new babies in the pen - and invited me to go with him and his daughter to the Peach Festival and Rodeo in Stonewall tomorrow. Need to be down the house at 9am so we have plenty of time to get there for the parade at 10:30. Should be fun. The peaches, I already know, are delicious.
Looking forward to picking Matt up in Austin on Monday and having a few in-person days together. May zip-tie him to something immovable and cancel his return flight. FaceTime makes a huge difference, but...
Other than the five-or-less-minute interaction with Chuck, my day was exciting because I interacted with sales clerks at the HEB and at the consignment store (where I found a good pair of second-hand cowgirl boots). !!!
Time moves differently here, and I am going slowly insane. :-) Kidding.
Addendum: A billion stars in a dark sky void of city light... crickets' call-and-answer... smell of dry grass and cows on the breeze... heaven
* * *
June 17 9pm
"Hop in, darlin'" and away we go via the shortcut to Stonewall for the Peach JAMboree parade, Chuck and his oldest daughter and her husband and I.
We got a good shady spot on Chuck's friend's lawn to watch. Miss Peach JAMboree contestants, volunteer firefighters, antique tractors, floats from local businesses, political representatives, horseback riders...
After, picked up BBQ roasts from the dozen or so big metal cookers that had been going for 18 hours and took it back to Chuck's for a ranch-style lunch with the friends of 30+ years that they bumped into in Stonewall completely randomly.
It was a good day. Interesting, courteous, friendly people. I even played the egg-pusher and offloaded a dozen.
I begged off on going to Fredericksburg for the big annual powwow that celebrates the surviving treaty between a Comanche tribe and the German settlers here. I'll regret it later, maybe, but
S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y...night!
- Dreamy half-nap on the porch with a hot wind blowing by and the birds calling
- Hosed down the porch to cool the cats
- A limping chicken ("Maybe snake-bit")
- Every single topic that you want to avoid as a liberal Californian guest in Texas coming up in the space of a few hours (new today)
* * *
June 18 7:30pm
Happy Father's Day Den Thompkins! You and Cynthia Thompkins are the reason the middle of nowhere feels like home and I'm thankful for it.
Today was productive. And, apparently hotter and as humid in the Bay Area and Lake Tahoe as it was here.
- Hefted 50-lb bags of animal feed, (whew), lugged hose around backyard to water juvenile trees (while looking for arrowheads and listening to S-Town podcast, so good), changed bedsheets
- Swept raccoon poop out of the feed shed, did three loads of laundry, vacuumed
[OMG! If you don't know about central vacuuming, here, you're welcome: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_vacuum_cleaner]
- Watched chickens hunt for bugs on lawn while making butt-print on porch sofa (watching chickens + fewer bugs = better porch butt-printing time for me)
- Possibly passed on a computer virus. F***. I'm sorry. Suggestions for anti-virus for iPad?
Navel gaze: Multiple opportunities for personal growth out here on my own that are sometimes acutely uncomfortable (is that a thing?), and plenty of time for reflection. Feeling grateful for relative maturity and for having a mom who is willing to listen to me try work it out. <3
Back on the porch, it's 75 degrees with a soft on-and-off rain falling. Yesterday when I dropped Matt off at the airport in Austin the heat index was 112.
Loved having Matt here for a few days and showing him where I live for the summer. One example of why I like having Matt around:
A: I wonder if there is a cave on Cave Creek Road
M: Actually... [goes on to tell the fascinating true story of the hermit who lived in the cave on Cave Creek Road back in the 1800's]
We had Carrie, Paul, and Chuck over for dinner on Wednesday, which was a success. Conversation was lively, there was much exclaiming (of a positive nature) over the new paintings, and the beer-can chicken and homemade crouton salad (with lettuce and tomatoes from the garden) were a hit. They even stayed an hour longer than I predicted.
Had a lovely visit with Lane and Courtney in Austin last night as well. Great to catch up with these friends after years, meet their fun and diverse friends at an impromptu party in someone's back yard (koi pond, fairy lights, music, tightrope, much laughter), meet their adorable daughter, and spend time in their beautiful homey home.
So begins the next phase of the trip. Two months (and 10 canvases) to go. Things to look forward to: Fourth of July BBQ and fireworks at the Wikander's, and hopefully an overnight visit from the Becker-Scotts that will include wine tasting and goat-petting (if we can get near those goats).
Now to count chickens, since I was away last night. Fingers crossed that there are still ten of them.
I've been here for what, 3-4 weeks now? and am already dropping my G's. I mean droppin'.
* * *
June 25 10:30am
This morning:
Nine chickens ☹️
The goats are in the pasture across the pond, but the kids are gone (no longer interested in trying the goat tacos at Tubby's)
Overcast and cool, perfect painting day
* * *
June 25 12:30pm
Goat update: I was mistaken! All the goats with kids are down in the pens. They don't sell the babies as a rule and never before they're weaned.
Also, all the does in the other herd are unexpectedly pregnant so now there will be MORE babies.* And I have a new job feeding that herd every other day. So, that's cool.
All that news delivered AND an excuse to offload another dozen eggs. Eventful Sunday.
* Hopefully babies before my time here is done. How long is a goat's gestation cycle?
* * *
June 25 1:30pm
Today:
- Fed the cats, chickens, geese, goats, and horses
- Drove in to town for provisions
- Had a pull-up-alongside pickup truck chat with Chuck (good to know the electric fence is now hot... if it'll dissuade a 900-lb horse I'm guessing it would give a 125-lb lady a bit of a surprise)
- Scraped chicken poop off the roosts and added more nest box bedding (ew)
- Got some kind of nettle stuck in my finger (ow)
... And it's only 1pm.
Funny thing I forgot to add from Matt's visit last week:
Driving in Fredericksburg we saw a wind turbine blade go past... and past... and past... strapped across 2 trucks with a wide-load escort blocking lanes where it needed 2 to turn. Chased it down to get a better look while trying to figure out what it was. Super cool. Longer than a blue whale.
* * *
June 26 4:30pm
Heaven. Low clouds (rain just started), 85 degrees with a little breeze, cows mooing a symphony in concert with the swallows, Renald sleeping belly-up on the porch sofa next to me. I am feeling extraordinarily blessed.
[Equally horrified by current state of the US]
This year has afforded me many opportunities for reflection on what I believe and the narratives I carry about myself and others... about possibility, love and desirability, independence v interdependence v needing v choosing every day and where those all intersect...
I didn't paint today and my brain has been operating at red-line but I am fully aware of how lucky I am to be here, be who I am in fault and blessing, and have a place to go when my time here is done.
After several years of being at a numb standstill I can't express enough gratitude for the past 6 months.
* * *
June 26 10:00pm
Sheet lightning, minutes-long thunder, sheets of rain....
* * *
June 27 8:30pm
Today:
Another epic thundery downpour put a finish to painting early, which was okay because it was kind of a crap painting day, which sometimes happens.
Chickens got a nice big batch of scrambled eggs. Then laid the same number of eggs.
Episode 3 of the Lonesome Dove miniseries. One of my all-time favorite books, surprising subject of one of the very first of many solidly enjoyable beach walk conversations, and locationally appropriate through season 2.
As expected after a red-line-brain day, many revelations. Growing like the lawn, and looking forward to mowing once the rain stops
Perfectly boring video of lawn mowing. It's kinda cathartic, the mowing. And I can now see I missed a really big spot.
Also today: hopping hitchhiker (giant grasshopper on the dashboard of the truck); picked about 2 dozen stickers out of Renald's coat; no sign of the snake the 3x that I checked (though only one egg today)
* * *
June 29 9:30pm
Beautiful, mellow sunset... 89 degrees at twilight
Cats colluding on the newly mowed lawn
Cows bellowing
Isolation is complete. Working hard to stay present in the moment and failing epically. This was what I wanted more than anything, and it turns out that I need contact with other people (some people, not just any people).
There is nothing bad about any of this. It's awesome. I am the luckiest person.
* * *
June 30 7pm
Today I only left the house/surrounds to feed the goats. Passed Chuck on the road and exchanged a few words (literally, a few words). But I saw a big jackrabbit while I was out, and an even bigger raptor (maybe a red-shouldered hawk?).
On return, checked the coop for eggs and/or snake. No snake, two eggs, and some wasps building a nest in the corner (gah).
This morning, a pretty but very dead bird on the porch of the little house. Don't think it was the cats. Maybe a window?
Started watching the Turkish crime drama that Matt's been talking about, it's great: Bezhat C.
Uneventful day but feeling calm.
* * *
July 1 10am
It's 10am and dark as twilight with rain clouds. I may spend Caturday in bed with the iPad.
* * *
July 1 9pm
Josephine is afraid of thunder.
Battled depression by watching The Place Beyond the Pines in bed this morning. I know. But there was a kind of logic involved. Felt better.
Took a long walk along the fence line and down by the pond after the rain stopped, listening to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me (Peter Segal was on fire today!) and Radiolab (anything neurology will bust a funk for me) and felt better.
There are really big fish, and a turtle, in the pond!
Had a nice long text conversation and felt better.
No snake in the henhouse. Five eggs. Sprayed pesticide on the wasp nest, mea culpa...
Played Cowboy Junkies "Blue Moon Revisited" on the porch and, no kidding, three swallows perched on the rafters above for the duration of the song. Probably doesn't mean anything but it was neat.
Tomorrow, new day. Something like 45 to go. Seems like an eternity right now but it will fly in retrospect so am going to continue to try to breathe through the awesome and the difficult and stay present with all of it.
* * *
July 2 8pm
Went into town today with the idea of having lunch over a magazine and remembered that town is full of tourists! Especially on the weekend.
Later, driving down (up?) the dirt road with a bucketful of goat feed, can of beer between my legs (local custom and childhood memory), blasting Blondie on the radio with the windows down, not wearing a seatbelt.
There's a big puddle in a dip in the road near the house that I LOVE splashing through in the truck. Makes me grin bigly every single time.
Tomorrow painting first thing, and Tuesday Fourth of July BBQ at Carrie's... opportunity to socialize. With people.
* * *
July 2 11pm
Seeing flashlights in the pasture at 10:30 pm is odd and a little scary out here in the middle of nowhere, but no more odd than shaking hands over the fence with two affable and heavily armed young men out hunting hogs. Carrie's son is home with a friend. Friendly and apologetic and looking forward to 4th of July party.
* * *
July 3 11pm
When the wind blows, the rocking chair rocks.
That's all for today aside from a new painting, a couple of dead giant bugs, and a conspiracy of wasps. Kind of relieved.
A question though... does one need to understand the context of a poet to appreciate a poem? I don't think so, but I'm second-guessing myself.
* * *
July 3 1am
Skreetch! Wait a minute. That's not all there is today. There are things I don't get to experience in the Bay Area and want to remember forever because I am super enjoying them:
Low 80's after midnight
Cacophony of crickets and frogs
Stars. Stars! So many of them
Delicious-smelling air- grass and trees and not-fumes
Chickens eating watermelon and strawberries on the lawn
